Tangled Up in Knots

Ugh

2012-01-24T22:43:00.001-05:00

I think this is about the point, ten years ago, that Andrew and I said, "How about ten people on top of a mountain?"

I have kind of a crappy track record of party planning and weather. In six years, I have managed to host Bear's birthday parties during a monsoon that shut down the Newport Bridge (and caused the church hall we were in to take on water), the aftermath of a hurricane and Rhode Island's first October Nor'Easter in memory. Tadpoles two parties have both been planned as outdoor parites (JUNE people!! JUNE!!) adn it has rained both days. Soo... Andrew not-so-gently suggest we look for an indoor venue to have this party since our house isn't big enough for 100 wet guests to cram into.
I am feeling very defeated by how quickly costs are adding up.
- Venue #1 - $1250 for the space. No tables. No chairs. Still awaiting a call back regarding availability.
- Venue #2 - $2100 for the space. Includes tables and chairs. Available Friday or Sunday, not Saturday.
- Venue #3 - $3850 for the space. No tables. No chairs. Available Friday or Sunday, not Saturday. BUT it
is a GORGEOUS greenhouse.
- Catering - $42 per person
- Photography - $3000 minimum
And we haven't even begun to add in rentals, flowers, centerpieces, invitations, dresses, tuxedos, music, favors, ugh.

I just wanted to host a fun party, renew my vows and celebrate my marriage with my husband and not have to feed my children ramon noodles for the next eight months in order to do so. I realize this is ridiculous. I know we DON'T have to have a big wedding-type party to celebrate our anniversary. We could go on vacation, or out to dinner, or both for far less money. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

Ideas from the Internet

2012-01-22T00:03:00.000-05:00

Planning the Party

2012-01-20T12:00:00.000-05:00

Thanks to a little bit of luck, a lot of hard work and the grace of God, Andrew and I will be celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary this September. Our original wedding was a small, simple affair on top of Cathedral Ledge in North Conway, NH. There were ten people in attendance, including the two of us and the Justice of the Peace that officiated our little ceremony. I wore my best friends wedding dress as my something borrowed. We followed with dinner at a local restaurant in a room that I'm pretty sure doubled as a greenhouse and had dessert at the chocolate outlet next door.

We have long planned on hosting this anniversary part, though the form has changed quite a bite. At one point we thought about having an elaborate ceremony and reception (day care and private kindergarten tuition nixed that idea), we thought about renting a beach house in Maine or the Outer Banks, we thought about dragging all of our family and friends to the top of our mountain and then back to the same (HOT) restaurant for a proper reception. I am currently set on having a ceremony and reception right here in our backyard. The "yard" is a tad small so let's call it an "intimate" party. (Is it wrong of me to count on half of the invited guests to regretfully decline?)

In some ways, I am more excited about this than our original wedding. There is none of that "Oh my God, the REST of my life. Really?!?" nervousness that caused me to run out of a brownie cooking lab at URI, puking all over the front steps of Woodward Hall. (I did get a free pass on that lab. That was a bonus.) There is comfort in really knowing that I made the right decision. Hopefully, no one in my family with be placing their bets on how long it will last this time around. I think that ten years of marriage is something to celebrate, it is much more of an accomplishment to make it to this point. Pretty much anyone can make it through day one of a marriage. Also, there is less expectation of an anniversary party. It can be anything Andrew and I want. A wedding comes with so many expectations, EVERYONE has an opinion which they usually have no problem voicing, whether you want to hear it or not. This time around there is less demands as to what we are "supposed" to be doing, or maybe I am better at shrugging off dissenters, either way there is far less stress planning our anniversary party compared to our wedding.

So anyway, the party. I'm totally in love with my ideas so far. I have been collecting #10 cans from work (my food service management professor would be so proud of me for still knowing what they are called). I plan on spray painting them a flat chocolate brown inside and out and then wrapping the outside in chocolate brown ribbon. These are going to be on the stairs of our porch, in the planter boxes in the back yard that nothing grows in, and basically all around the yard with votive candles tucked in between. Originally I had planned on a theme of wine red with brown accents but I seem to have flip flopped that somewhere along the way. I am going to fill the cans with white roses (found online for $190 for 25 dozen!!!). I also found a dress (on sale for $108!!!) but unfortunately the aforementioned daycare and private kindergarten tuition have me simply bookmarking the page and hoping it goes on such super sale again. I'm waiting on a quote from RI Rental for a few tables, chairs, tablecloths, and a dance floor. We're going to skip the DJ (no room really) and put a teenager in charge of the iPod playlists we'll make. My BFF Sarah is going to make the cake, I'm thinking chocolate with chocolate frosting, three tiers, with white chocolate roses on the tiers and fresh white roses on top. A high school classmate has agreed to be our photographer. Centerpieces will be glass bowls filled with apples.(Family apple picking trip the weekend before!) Oh, and the place cards, mini pumpkins. SO MUCH FUN!!

Crafters Week - Backwards

2011-04-03T14:48:00.000-04:00

While catching up on my blog reading (and avoiding actual work at work) I stumbled across this. The second annual knitting and crocheting blog week. Since today is the last day, I decided to start with day 7's topic and work my way backwards.

Write about your typical crafting time. When it is that you are likely to craft – alone or in more social environments, when watching TV or whilst taking bus journeys. What items do you like to surround yourself with whilst you twirl your hook like a majorette’s baton or work those needles like a skilled set of samurai swords. Do you always have snacks to hand, or are you a strictly ‘no crumbs near my yarn!’ kind of knitter.

With two young kids my crafting time is limited to say the least. I try to fit in a few stitches whenever possible. Which is probably why I always have seven or twelve projects going at once. When a project is at it's "knit until x inches from cast on row" stage, it travels well. Especially hats knit in the round. Like the pumpkin hat in my purse. A few stitches at the red light, a few more waiting for my computer to boot up, by the end of the day I've finished an entire row! Slightly more complex knitting (simple decrease and increase shaping, easily memorized lace or cables) is for when my husband and I are going somewhere together. He always drives, I always knit. It makes him a bit crazy I know. It doesn't matter where we are going or how long it will take to get there - 5 minutes to the grocery store, 10 minutes to my parents house, I knit on the way there. I always sneak in a few rows at night after the kids are in bed. This is when I do the "pay attention to me" knitting. I am usually half watching Forensic Files or some other true crime TV show at the same time.

But my absolutely favorite knitting time is vacation knitting. Thanks to a company car that comes with a company gas card we drive to wherever it is we are going on vacation. At least a month before (and sometimes earlier) I scope out possible new projects. I go to my LYS to touch and feel possible yarn choices. The week or two before vacation, I swatch, plan, and pack my knitting bag (complete with clip on book light for nighttime driving). As soon as we back out of the driveway, I start my new project. Sometimes, I even finish it.

Reflection

2011-03-15T21:44:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is my 33rd birthday. I think I will use this as a reflecting point...

I have two beautiful children. I mean gorgeous. They are smart (sometimes too smart), polite to adults, and love each other very much. I have a wonderful husband. We have been through good and bad together and have come through stronger. I have a trusty dog who licks my face and barks when strangers approach.

I have a wonderful group of friends. Some new, some old, some I spend hours with, some I have never met in person, all an addition to my life. I have hobbies that I enjoy - knitting, yoga, running, reading.

Tomorrow, I will celebrate these past 33 years - with cake, ice cream, macaroni and cheese, Cadbury eggs, diet Pepsi, and I will not count a single calorie. ;-)

A Story for Everyone's Amusement

2011-03-03T22:11:00.000-05:00

Rhode Island has gotten a LOT of snow this winter. A LOT. I managed to avoid all snow-related disasters until this past week, when it wasn't even snowing. So here's the story...

Tadpole had been running some low-grade temps for a few days. He was cranky and generally not himself. And he was supposed to be starting day care the next week. On Friday his temperature was 100.2 - I knew that if I didn't call the pediatrician we'd either end up at the Emergency Room at 2 a.m. Sunday or he'd have a temperature of 104 Monday morning and be unable to start daycare.

After dropping Bear off at pre-school at 9 in the morning, I called the pediatrician's office. The secretary told me she'd have the nurse call me back to schedule an appointment. Now usually when the nurse calls me back she wants me to come in NOW. Like ten minutes ago. So I decided to head in that direction. A note: our pediatrician was Andrew's doctor when he was a kid. His office is on the other side of the bay, somewhere I don't spend a lot of time.

I made it to the pediatricians office before the nurse called so I decided to head to a park that I knew was nearby. I turned down what I thought was the road to the park. Not so much. What I turned down was a service road. A heavily unplowed service road that headed uphill towards a cleared parking area. My thinking was simple, drive up the hill, turn around and head back to the main road. BUT I never made it up the hill. My truck got stuck. I tried the turn the wheel, pull forward, turn the wheel, reverse, etc. trick but I was still stuck. I finally called AAA to come rescue me.

When AAA showed up they ended up having to attach a winch to my car and PULL me up the hill to the parking area. When I got turned around the AAA guy says to me, "Now that puddle at the bottom of the hill is probably a lot deeper now than when you came up here." (Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that it was POURING?) "Go as fast as you can through the puddle and I'll wait to make sure you get through it." Fantastic.

And to add insult to injury, the nurse called me back while I was waiting for AAA. They'd see me at 3:15pm that afternoon.

Step One - Gauge it Out

2010-12-08T17:28:00.000-05:00

Project: Felted Wool Basket to hold the kids wooden blocks

Yarn: Lion Wool held double stranded
Needles: size 7 bamboo
Gauge: 15 sts x 21 rows = 4"
Pre-felted measurements: 5.5" x 5"
Post-felted measurements: 4.75" x 4"
   Height lost: 20%
   Length lost: 14%
   Area lost: 31%

Mold: "YARN ONLY" dye pot
Measurements: circumference 10.5", height 9.25"

HIPPA

2010-12-05T22:55:00.000-05:00

As most of you know, I work in a hospital. There is never a dull day - be it ridiculous or heartbreaking work is always an interesting place to be.

This weekend I had a consult on a patient admitted from a nursing home. The paperwork that came with her from the nursing home listed her diet as "NSS". I have a degree in Nutrition, I have been a dietitian for 6 years, and I have never heard of the acronym NSS. So I called the nursing home and asked to speak to someone in the kitchen. The kid that answered the phone refused to tell me what NSS stood for. He actually told me, "I can't divulge that information."

Seriously? Is your facilities list of acronyms HIPPA protected? I don't think so. I think someone takes his job a little too seriously.

For the record, NSS stands for No Salt Substitutes. Also for the record, I have no idea what that means either.

My Two Cents

2010-09-11T23:35:00.000-04:00

I don't understand the protests over the planned Islamic center near ground zero. By protesting, people are just perpetuating hate. How about perpetuating peace and acceptance instead?
Reverand Terry Jones is looking to make a name for himself. Absolutely nothing good would have come from burning the Quran. Whatever happened to do unto others as you would have done unto you? I give it two weeks tops before Fox News offers him a job.
If you were driving a double decker bus and came to a low bridge, wouldn't you slow down, just in case?

First Haircut

2010-08-30T15:17:00.002-04:00

Before

During

After

Book Review: Pride and Prejudice

2010-08-29T21:00:00.004-04:00

I have recently begun reading all the classics I never read in high school. (I downloaded Kindle for Droid and the classics are free.) Now, for the record, I was never assigned to read Pride and Prejudice. I took American lit in school, so I Cliff Noted my way through masterpieces like Billy Budd (UGH!) and All Quiet on the Western Front.

I LOVE this book. LOVE LOVE LOVE. It was a little confusing at first, all the characters and the cities and names of everyones home, I had a hard time keeping everybody and everywhere straight in my mind. It was captivating from the start and I looked forward to my nightly nurse-Tadpole-to-sleep-and-read sessions from the beginning. I'm sure I wouldn't have "got" it in high school, and the book was probably better since I chose to read it instead of being forced to (though I'm pretty sure I will NEVER understand Billy Budd) but the last four or five chapters have had me reading in the elevator at work, at red lights, it's crazy, but I couldn't put the book down. And I had to stop myself from Googling whether Darcy and Elizabeth ended up together or not. I have no idea the history, or time period of this book, but I imagine it was scandalous in it's day - even before the part where Lydia runs off with Wickham and they (gasp) shack up before being properly married.

I am by no means a literature person, I have a Bachelor of Science, I have a science based career and I hated Literature in school. I never understood HOW on Earth anyone knew that by writing two chapters about blueberries the author was conveying sadness? Did they TELL you that? Is it EXPRESSLY WRITTEN somewhere? I didn't think so. So how do you know my interpretation is wrong? Yeah, that argument didn't go over so well. Anyway, don't expect an amazingly witty, informative literary review from me. That will have to come from my friend Jen, the English major.

All I can say is that I LOVED this book. You should read it.

Next up, Anna Karenina.

Math

2010-08-20T07:51:00.004-04:00

Sucks.

And if I could figure out how to make that Jimmy Buffet song play while you read this, I would. But alas, you'll just have to click the link and play the song in a different window yourself.

My good friend Sara's baby girl is turning one later this month. For quite some time now, I have been working on a Cabled Baby Raglan as her birthday present. I was very knitterly-responsible with this project. I used yarn from my stash (gasp!) and even knit and re-knit a gauge swatch (double gasp!). A gauge swatch though, is USELESS if the swatcher can't add. Which apparently I had forgotten how to do that day, since 14+14 DOES NOT equal 24. So I have been KILLING MYSELF knitting with DK COTTON on SIZE ONE'S only to turn my 18-24 month sized sweater into a 3-6 month sized sweater. Grr.

Luckily for me, everyone I know seems to be pregnant (including Sara) so someone out there will be opening this lovely cardigan at their baby shower. Act surprised.

161

2010-07-02T21:16:00.003-04:00

For those of you that have followed this for a while, you're probably thinking, hmmmm not much has changed. Well... in between the last time I recorded my weight and now I had Tadpole, lost a bunch of weight during the summer I was on maternity leave and then gained back every ounce once I went back to work. So here we go again, on the seemingly never ending quest for less of me.

This latest bout started with two seemingly inconsequential events. First, we hired a new dietitian at work. Besides being the thinnest healthy person I think I have ever met, she said something that really made me think. We were discussing how to determine an obese patients calorie needs. I said I usually use the adjusted body weight, a mid point between the persons ideal body weight for height and their current weight. K said she just uses their ideal weight because she doesn't believe in "feeding what isn't supposed to be there". Hmmmm....

Also, I fried my Blackberry. I tried downloading Google Maps straight from the Google web site instead of from the Blackberry apps site. According to the people at Verizon, I deleted the operating system of my phone (whatever that means). When I asked if there was anything they could do to fix it they asked if they could interest me in a new phone. Ooops. I ended up getting a Droid (LOVE it!!!) and downloaded an app (from the Droid app market!) called Calorie Counter. The data base has EVERYTHING. I can even scan the bar code of a food package using the phone's camera and the program finds the food and adds it to my day's food diary. I've been limiting my calories to ~1500 calories/day. Having my phone with me all day has made it amazingly easy and I have done really well.

The overall goal is 125, but at this point, I'll take progress, no matter the form.

Getting Re-Aquainted

2010-06-17T20:42:00.004-04:00

Over the next few weeks I would like to (gasp!) start regularly posting to my blog again.

This past year has been a challenging one. Like a wise friend once told me, one plus one does not equal two when it comes to kids. She prefaced this with, "It's hell, don't do it." but since I chose not to heed her first piece of advice I take comfort in knowing that I am not the only one who feels ill-equipped to care for more children than I can chase at any one time. Sometimes I feel as though I am just running through my day, checking off my perpetual to-do list, never really slowing down to enjoy the moments or reflect on them.

Tadpole is now a year old. (Yes, a year! Can you believe it?!?) He has turned out to be a very different baby than Bear. First off, he likes me, not just my boobs. And he EATS. Someone at work told me to be prepared to mortgage my house to feed him. Hmmmm... pretty sure I can't mortgage my apartment. (Quick side story: Years ago, when Andrew and I were married, without kids and living in then unknown blissful solitude in the ghetto, a window salesman called just about daily trying to get us to buy new windows for our house. I tried repeatedly to tell him that we did not own said house, but he insisted that we were listed as the owners and thus, able to purchase his windows. He finally stopped calling when I offered to sell him the mouse infested place.) I digress...

Tadpole also gets into things Bear never dreamed about touching (she was too busy nursing). He empties the dog's toy box daily. If he manages to sneak into the bathroom, he flushes the toilet. He puts all of the dog's food into her water dish, one piece of kibble at a time. This week he has started using Baby Signs for "all done", "more" and "bye-bye".

Bear is 4 1/2 going on 35. The things that come out of her mouth amaze and infuriate me with equal frequency. She LOVES Hannah Montana and Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber, just like her big sister. I don't really know when Elmo and Dora were put by the wayside, but I kind of miss them for her. This afternoon she was calling Tadpole silly names on the way home from daycare. After laughing hysterically at her wit when she called him a mailbox, she followed with, "You're an aglet." (If you don't know what that is, watch this.) I burst out laughing.

She is a wonderful big sister. She plays with Tadpole all the time, shares her toys, and is as careful as a 4-year old can be to not leave choking hazards lying around. In that respect, I am a very, very lucky mom.

(It is now 9:39pm and I am falling asleep while typing this. How telling of why I probably have let this blog fall by the wayside.)

To be continued...

My Olympic Fail

2010-02-28T22:48:00.002-05:00

There will be no Olympic medal for me this year. But I'm OK with that. I wasn't, but after ten minutes of fuming I realized why I'm not going to get my medal and why it doesn't matter.

First the knitting...
I have knit the front of this !#$%& vest and ripped it back about six times now. Let's see, first I knit an extra row of the intarsia diamond. That wouldn't have been such a big deal if it wasn't destined to be argyle and the X across the diamond doesn't really allow for an accidental extra row. Ripped it back and fixed that. Then I realized that I missed the armhole decreases. Rip. Oh, decreased to the 18 month size instead of the 12 month size. Rip. Missed 12 decreases right after the armholes. Rip. Rip. Rip.

And now the why...
I've been trying to balance being a wife and a mom, having a career, and finding time to knit, work out, spend time with friends, read, think. There are only so many hours in a day. I tried giving up sleep but I'm not so nice when I'm tired. So these past two weeks I've been trying to multitask. Playing Wii with Andrew, reading Tadpole Twilight instead of Goodnight Moon, knitting while playing kitchen and school with Bear. It's this last multitasking endeavor that hasn't worked out so well. But I've had so much fun, I don't even care.

Eventually, I will finish this thing. Hopefully before Friday because I really do want Tadpole to wear it for Easter pictures.

His First Love

2010-02-06T21:39:00.006-05:00

Pattern: Apple Hat by Susan B. Anderson and Thumbless Toddler Mitts by Bethany McRae

Yarn: Aslan Trends Del Cerro

Begun: 2/2/2010

Finished: 2/6/2010

Notes: My friend Sara has been watching Tadpole for me twice a week since I went back to work. She also watches another little boy twice a week for another friend. Last week that boy brought her daughter a "My First Valentine's Day" bib. She made sure to tell Tadpole that the other boy was moving in on his girlfriend while I was within earshot. Well, I told her that Tadpole would NEVER give such an impersonal, store bought gift. ;-) Which of course meant that I had to make something quickly. Tuesday afternoon I needed a little retail (fiber) therapy and I found the most amazingly soft wool. Del Cerro by Aslan Trends might be my new favorite yarn. Anyway, it comes in the most perfect little girl pink so I picked up a hank, gauged it, and used Ravelry to find an appropriate pattern. (Which by the way is my new favorite way of knitting. Gauge out my yarn and then choose a pattern.) I thought the plain pick hat needed something so I broke out my needle felting tools (last years Christmas gift) and used them for the first time on this hat. It took a while to perfect my technique but I think it came out pretty good.

Alice

2010-02-04T09:46:00.002-05:00

Alice was my first dog. Well, she was MY first dog. Lassie was my family's first dog. Yes, she was a collie and yes her name was Lassie but WE didn't name her. She came with the name. She was a pound dog. We had just purchased the house that we had lived in since I was three. Now our former landlord was our tenant and in those first few months we did everything we weren't allowed to do before. We got a dog. And a cat. We walked on the grass. We had cookouts with friends in the back yard. My mom went to the pound to rescue a dog and came home with the homeliest, ugliest, smelliest excuse for a dog I had ever seen. It was her last chance. If Lassie hadn't found a home by the end of that day they were going to euthanize her. So my mom brought her home. Her looks improved a bit after a couple of baths and a trip to the groomer. She was a great first dog. Obedient, loving, deathly afraid of cameras. When I moved out of my parents house and in with Andrew and his roommate they already had a dog. Spiff. Spiff ate anything that wasn't nailed down. And a few things that were. As a puppy he ate a twin mattress and a linoleum floor. He ate Andrew's checkbook and a pair of my shoes (I know I didn't lose them because I found the buckle). He ate a box of chocolate covered cherries, including the box and the cellophane wrapping. One year, he ate Thanksgiving dinner. All of it. Spiff was nice. He was dumb and playful, but he wasn't my dog. I wanted my own dog. A woman I worked with had a puppy that needed a home. I told her to meet me at the park after work and I would take her. I brought Alice home and told Andrew and Jim I had decided to get a dog. That's how they learned about Alice.

Alice and Spiff got along fairly well. Alice liked to nip at Spiff's ears. Spiff would snap and Alice would back off a bit, for a minute or two, and then the whole routine would repeat itself. Alice slept on our bed from the very first day. She failed obedience school, twice. She barked at everything that made noise, all day long. She was afraid of shadows and the sound of leaves crunching under he paws. And she licked. She licked the floor, the couch, people, other dogs, she just loved to lick. My brother thought she would make a great mob dog. Alice "The Tongue". Alice was meant to be my dog. She hated the cold. She loved to take long naps and snuggle under the blankets with me. She was my dog. She moved home with me when Andrew and I broke up for five months. She moved back with me when we got back together. She napped by my side while I studied in college. She was waiting for me when Andrew and I came home on our wedding night. She was there when we brought Bear and Tadpole home. Bear was pretty indifferent to the dogs as a baby. Tadpole LOVED Alice. He would lean over the side of his high chair and willingly hand over his wagon wheels and teether biscuits. He'd giggle uncontrollably as she licked his little hands clean. He's not crawling yet, but he can get anywhere he wants to go by rolling. And where he wanted to be was wherever Alice was. He would roll to her. She would jump up and lick his face and prance around while he kicked and squealed and tried to roll closer.

Alice lost a battle against cancer that we didn't realize she was fighting. She never once complained. Never snapped at Tadpole. Never languished on her dog bed. Never stopped barking. Never indicated that she was anything other than a slightly aging, overweight dog. She was a good dog. She was MY dog. And I miss her.

You Might Want to Skip to the Last Paragraph

2009-11-20T02:38:00.002-05:00

As I've mentioned before this blog has become a bit like therapy for me. Like Gidgit and Doogie Howser, I feel better when I put it into words. Thus...

Wednesday was a really bad day. It started bad, perked up a bit in the middle, and ending in an astonishingly awful way. But it proved it's point: even at her worst, Bear has an amazingly big heart and I love her.

Andrew's Aunt Linda was given bad news in August. Suspicious spots on her liver, possibly a new cancer, possibly a metastasis from her breast cancer years ago. We'd have to wait for the biopsy. Two weeks later the bad news got worse. The spots on her liver were indeed metastasis, but not from her history of breast cancer. She was diagnosed with primary pancreatic cancer that had already spread to her liver and possibly her bones. With chemo she had a few months. Then came the strokes that left her unable to eat or speak but awake and alert enough to be afraid. She lost her battle Wednesday morning.

Linda and her husband Denny were amongst the first of Andrew's relatives that I met and easily two of my favorites. They were warm and inviting from the very beginning - letting us stay with them every time we made the trek to the northwest corner of Pennsylvania. The first time we spent the weekend Andrew looked at me and said, "Can't you just see this family room full of our kids on Christmas morning?" I could. Their front porch was the perfect size for the padded wicker furniture it held. Even in winter the porch called out to you first thing in the morning, "Come, sit and sip hot chocolate." Staying with Denny and Linda wasn't just a convenience, it was part of the vacation. I will miss her more than I can possibly express.

Bear noticed my tears and asked if I missed Daddy, who happened to be on a business trip in Albany when his mom called with the bad news. Not waiting for my answer, she wrapped her little arms around my legs and squeezed, telling me that it was OK, Daddy would be home soon.

I pulled myself together and packed our bag for the day. A fully stocked diaper bag for Tadpole, lunch for Bear and I, Bear's appointment "ticket" for the dentist, and her swim bag. After another amazing trip to the dentist (awarded with a Hello Kitty skirt and top this time) and a very productive swim class we were back at home.

Tadpole was running low on Orajel and Bear was running high on energy so I suggested we take a walk to the convenience store down the road. I put Tadpole in the Baby Bjorn and a leash on Samantha, Bear put her teddy bear in her pink Build-A-Bear Baby Bjorn and we were all on our way. We were almost there when I heard a high pitched bark. Without any warning at all, a little Boston Terrier darted across the street yapping at Samantha. The next few seconds passed in freeze frame slow motion. A blue green car, a yelp, the spinning of tires, a loud crunch and the little doggy lying in a heap, practically at our feet. It was the most horrifying thing I have ever seen and if I live to be 100 I will never forget it. Bear, barely four years old, witnessed the whole thing.

She was sobbing as we tried to find the dogs owner. A 12-year old boy with a leash in his hands appeared from behind the house. He crossed the street and scooped up the dog. Then he brought him to his front step and dropped him. It was gut wrenching. I don't know if he dropped him in anger, or disgust, or if he thought he might land on his feet and run inside but I get a pit in my stomach thinking about it. I decided to get the Orajel later and took Bear to sit on a friends porch. I knew she was still at work but we needed a second and she lived nearby. Bear asked a million questions I wish I had answers to... Why? Why did that doggie run into the road? Why didn't that car stop? Why is that boy sad? Are they going to take him to the animal hospital and fix him? Did the doggie die?

I decided to be honest with her. The doggie ran into the street because he was excited and he forgot to look both ways and wait for his owner. The car just couldn't stop fast enough. And the boy is sad because his doggie died. I told her that they couldn't take him to the animal hospital. That even the hospital can't fix it when someone gets squished by a car. She cried off and on the entire way home, telling me that she was very upset and sad.

When we got home, she immediately got out her art supplies and asked for a piece of plain white paper. Then she asked me how to spell sorry. She made that little boy a card. Drew him pictures to make him feel better. Then she spelled her name and the two other words she knows - mom and dad. She told me she wanted to bring the card to the little boy to make him smile but first she wanted to go to the store and get him some flowers. Today after work, that is exactly what we did. She picked a small violet plant and had the sales lady wrap light and dark pink ribbon around the pot. Then she helped me deliver it. She may be four and stubborn and overwhelming at times, but my daughter has a heart bigger than Texas and I love her.

Better than Prozac

2009-10-07T21:26:00.003-04:00

Today has been a challenging day here in the Condon household. Andrew left Monday afternoon on a business trip - we're going to meet him in New Hampshire Friday night... if we all live that long.

I once read somewhere that the toddler/preschool years are referred to as the first "adolescence", well let me tell you something, Bear may not see the second. We had four major blow-outs today. And when I say major, I mean that I am surprised the neighbors don't call the police. Bear is all girl when it comes to her emotions. Hormonal, hysterical, screaming, crying, kicking, throwing, slamming fits are commonplace. Three of today's revolved around me requesting that she wear something other than silky pajama bottom shorts and an undershirt outdoors (for the record it was about 60 degrees and WINDY today). One of the times I asked her to get dressed it was because I wanted to take her to a new park/zoo that we haven't visited yet but one of my bff's raves about. Seriously? Show me one other kid who throws a fit because someone wants to take them to the zoo. The last melt down was over bedtime which finally ended when I called Andrew and had him chat and "snuggle" with her over the phone until she fell asleep.

I am exhausted by all of this. I am also desperately saddened by the screaming and yelling I end up doing. I am adamantly opposed to spanking - no matter the situation - there is a history of physical abuse in my past and I will absolutely not allow that in my home. Tonight, Andrew told me that I verbally hit Bear when I scream at her. I collapsed into sobs. I love my daughter, more than I could possibly ever express in words. But there comes a point when I have been yelled at, and hit, and bombarded with all sorts of flying toys that I forget to be the parent and instead resort to playing the role of sparring partner.

I worry about Bear. I don't know if Bear is a normal preschooler or if she has somehow inherited the dark cloud of depression that used to hover above me. It's no secret that Zoloft is my ticket to participating in life but the thought of medicating a three year old.. Andrew is going to call the pediatrician tomorrow to set up an appointment with the child psychologist, we'll start there.

You're wondering where the "better" part of the title comes in? No it's not in that last paragraph. As I sat on the couch tonight, my eyes raw from crying, my phoned dinged to tell me I had a new email message. Someone had just left a comment on my 100 things post. I didn't know what they were referring to, so I went back and read the post. Then I read all the comments. And laughed. Then I started linking to other peoples blogs. And reading. And the anger and stress of the day started to drip down towards my toes to be deposited on the carpet instead of in my heart.

Thank you.

P.S. Yes I do still actually knit. That will be, gasp, tomorrow's post.

Neglectful

2009-09-30T20:59:00.003-04:00

That is what I have been. Between two kids, two dogs, one husband, one step-daughter, work, breastfeeding, one knitting blog, one knitting swap, knitting itself and various other hobbies something had to give. This month it was the knitting blog. Maybe next month it will be the kids. :-)

Eight Years, Eight Pictures for Peace

2009-09-11T18:21:00.006-04:00

Hi Ho Hi Ho

2009-09-06T13:45:00.004-04:00

I went back to work this week. Part time. LOVE IT! I'm sure I will love it a bit less when I get that first decreased paycheck but I really like the easier pace of working 24-hours a week instead of 40. I get to "sleep in" a few days a week and enjoy Bear and Tadpole while they are still little but I also get adult interaction and mental stimulation (beyond reviewing my shapes and colors). I am one happy and content clam.

I didn't meet my goal of finishing all WIP's over the summer but hey, they're my WIP's, I'll finish them when I am good and ready. For now I am happy to start a few more projects. I've started a simple baby pullover for Tadpole but he is growing like a weed (14.5# at 13 weeks!) so I'm not sure if it's even going to fit. I also started a red cabled sweater for Tadpole for Christmas pictures but I'm thinking it is more intricate and time-consuming than a baby sweater should be. I have also begun building an Etsy shop for myself. I have four custom orders right now and hope to post a few ready-to-sell sweaters within the next couple of weeks.

Fall is here in New England. The nights and early mornings are cool. I am sad to see the summer go but also happy that it's no longer a zillion degrees out.

My Brush with a Legend

2009-08-28T21:35:00.002-04:00

In the eleventh grade I was fortunate enough to participate in Project Close-Up in Washington, D.C. It was my first time on an airplane (which I might have been more excited about than the actual trip itself).

On Capitol Hill day we had a scavenger hunt type list of things to find (a copy of a bill, etc.) and were to meet in our congressman's office at some certain time. While my friend Tim and I were walking down the street we saw our congressman, Patrick Kennedy. And like the two starstruck teenagers we were, we pointed and gaped and made a complete spectacle of ourselves to the point that Patrick Kennedy crossed the street and introduced himself (probably to minimize the scene we were causing). When he found out that we were from Rhode Island and actually scheduled to meet him later that day he took us with him to see a vote. And while Patrick Kennedy was voting, his father, Ted Kennedy appeared. Patrick spoke a few words, pointed up to the balcony, and then Ted Kennedy waved to us. To me.

My Little Girl Is Getting So Big

2009-08-27T21:36:00.005-04:00

Last week, Andrew took Bear, K (my step-daughter), and his mom to the far reaches of Pennsylvania for the third bi-annual family reunion. Tadpole and I stayed home since no one wanted to be in a car for twelve hours with a baby that hates his car seat. While they were gone I spent five days clearing out clutter and rearranging furniture, turning K's weekend bedroom into Tadpole's nursery and turning Bear's nursery into her new "big girl room". When all was said and done, I cried. She's getting big so quickly. Here are some pictures of her new room.

A Lesson Learned

2009-08-10T11:03:00.004-04:00

After a recent rash of flying toys, Andrew and I instituted a new rule: If Bear throws something it goes in the garbage. After losing a pair of flip flops and a baby bottle the air traffic around the house greatly diminished. Last week she chucked "Binky Bear" at Andrew. He took it away and told her it was going in the trash can (major temper tantrum ensued). Since we wouldn't actually throw away Binky Bear, Andrew just hid it. A couple of days later he gave it back on account of good behavior. That's when Bear and I had this conversation...

Bear: The recycle man didn't take Binky Bear away?

Me: No, he was going to but Daddy knows how much you love Binky Bear so he asked the recycle man to leave Binky Bear here.

Bear: Not like my flip flops?

Me: Right. Your flip flops are all gone because you threw them at Mommy.

Bear: So I can throw things at Daddy but not at you?

Me: No Bear, we don't throw things at anybody.

Owl Hat

2009-08-06T11:01:00.004-04:00

Pattern: Who by Sara Amoroso

Yarn: Rowan Pure Life Organic Cotton

Begun: 6/29/2009
Finished: 8/5/2009
Notes: Super cute pattern and very easy - it knit up in just a couple of hours. It took forever to finish because I lost it after I took it to the store to pick out matching buttons. It's still a bit big for Tadpole, but I think he likes it. :-)

Riverstone

2009-08-05T16:39:00.006-04:00

Pattern: Riverstone by Justine Turner

Yarn: Comfort by Berroco

Begun: 3/1/2009

Finished: 8/5/2009

Notes: This is not a difficult pattern by any stretch, but it requires some pretty detailed row counting. I relied on my row counter which Bear kept playing with to see how many "points" I had. I put it aside for about two months because I couldn't stand to rip back rows again. It's a cute sweater now that it's done. Good thing I made it in size 12 months - at least baby Ruby hasn't outgrown it already.

SP14 - Package One!

2009-08-04T08:10:00.006-04:00

My first SP14 package arrived this past weekend. My pal is from Finland and made me a forest themed package. I love it!!! First a pic of the goodies:

Here is everything before I dug in. First, a wool mitten kit with a forest theme from a Finnish designer made with Finnish wool, Finnish and Swedish chocolates - you need snacks when hiking, napkins with moose on them, and a vacation guide book to my pal's hometown - won't she be surprised when I show up on her doorstep :-). In the wrapped packages there is a tiny wooden moose that sits on a pot and keeps the lid slightly elevated to let out steam (haven't seen that since Bear asked to "look" at it), a juniper butter knife, a washcloth for Tadpole, and a Swedish puzzle for Bear. She LOVES puzzles and this one is the perfect hard-enough-to-require-thought-but-not-so-hard- that-mom-has-to-do-it combination.

Another part of my package that I love, and that my pal had no way of knowing, is that my husband's family is Swedish so she not only gave me knitting gifts, she gave me a piece of family.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

February Baby Sweater

2009-08-03T13:49:00.006-04:00

Long winded explanation: I finally figured out how to use Facebook. Turns out it's not that hard to do when you have five baby screaming minutes free. I love it, but what strikes me the most is how I have daily conversations with people I knew (of) in high school and barely spoke to. One actual friend from high school, Amanda, and I have been co-workers for quite some time but now that we both have become moms we seem to have so much more in common than when she was on the volley ball team and I played tennis. (How petty we were.) Anyway... she is becoming god-mother to her niece this weekend and asked me if I could knit a non-cookie cutter gift for said niece. Thus, the February Baby Sweater.

Baby Tadpole modeling - don't tell daddy!

Pattern: Baby Sweater on Two Needles by Elizabeth Zimmerman
Yarn: Lion Brand Cotton Ease
Begun: 7/23/2009
Finished: 8/1/2009
Notes: My first FO with a lace pattern. I now understand what everyone means when they say that lace is intuitive. You know what stitch comes next after the first couple of rows. I've never actually gotten past the first couple of rows before. :-)

Really?

2009-07-31T07:58:00.004-04:00

Knitting Needles Poke Security the Wrong Way
By GRANT STINCHFIELD

A North Texas woman is asked to leave a Balch Springs Social Security office after a guard accused her of carrying dangerous weapons: her knitting needles.

“The armed guard came up to me and said I have to take that outside,” said Rachel Vines.

Vines said the only thing she was trying to kill inside the waiting room was time.

“I wasn't shoving them in people's faces going, 'look I have sharp pointy things,'" she said. "I was sitting there minding my own business trying to knit a sock.”

Apparently the Officer determined the five-inch knitting needles were a threat to the safety and security of those inside the building. The Federal Protective Service oversees security inside the building and would not answer questions about the incident, but it did email NBCDFW this statement:

“The Federal Protective Service (FPS) is responsible for keeping federal properties safe and secure for both employees and visitors. If an FPS guard determines that an object carried by a visitor could present a safety risk or be used by another person as a weapon, they may be asked to remove it from the building.”

People in the waiting room used words like “ridiculous” and “outrageous” when referring to the guards move to make Vines remove the needles.

Vines did put her yarn and knitting tools in the car but said she’s still flabbergasted by the whole ordeal.

“I cant even fathom what he was thinking," she said. "That I was going to harm someone by knitting? I just don’t get it."

Sorry Lisa, but this is just one more reason I will NEVER live in Texas.

Love

2009-07-27T22:58:00.002-04:00

Thank you all for your encouragement and support this week. Clearly I needed it.

Tonight, Bear gave me one of those makes-it-all-worth-it moments that reminded me just how much I love this crazy thing called motherhood.

We were at Gymboree and as we were checking out Bear asked if she could get a necklace. She handed me two necklaces and asked if I could untangle them because they were stuck. I explained to her that they weren't stuck, that it was a pair of necklaces - two halves of heart, one says "Best" the other says "Friends". I told her she could wear one and give the other one to her best friend to wear. She looked at me and said, "Mommy you're my best friend." My eyes filled with tears. (The sales girl was looking a little misty too and offered to cut off the tags so we could put them on right away.)

Motherhood is NOT for Sissies

2009-07-25T18:49:00.003-04:00

I don't think I ever truly understood that phrase until today.

I feel like every little "thing" that happens is like someone throwing a ping pong ball at me. Harmless really, mildly annoying. But when there are 45 ping pong balls coming at you from just as many directions, constantly, it is becomes frustrating. And when it continues for hours upon hours upon days upon days it can be soul crushing.

I remember holding Bear as an infant, dreaming of the days when we would play Candy Land together. When she would talk and we would read stories and cook together. Now I have nightmares about Candy Land and wish, that for just one day, she would talk for maybe 12 continuous hours a day instead of her current 16. I look at Tadpole and I can't even think that far ahead. All I can think is WHEN is he going to stop his incessant screaming. WHY won't he stop? WHY can't I make him feel better? WHEN will I be able to put him down so that I can have 15 minutes to myself? There are people out there desperate to have children and right now, the best part of my day is when my husband takes them all to the grocery store and leaves me alone at home. If I could get the dogs to stop barking and following me around licking my bare calves I'd be in heaven.

I love my children, I really really do. But right now I feel like a failure of a mother to them. I don't know how to soothe my infant son or how to talk to my preschooler so that she will listen and understand and behave. I feel like her inability to play nicely and share her toys is a direct reflection on my pitiful parenting skills. I feel like I yell too often and laugh too little. I feel like every other mother has the dishes and the laundry under control. That no one else has to stop and try to remember the last time the 3 year old took a bath. A good mother would say, instantly, last night of course and she'll have another tonight. A good mother would have the energy and patience to play yet another game of checkers with someone who doesn't understand the rules and invariably will decide to make up her own half way through and then YELL that I'm doing it wrong. No, wait, a good mother wouldn't be getting yelled at by her children.

I feel like the POSTER CHILD for bad moms everywhere and the guilt of failing my children is breaking me.

And Now It's an Heirloom

2009-07-22T08:07:00.003-04:00

This was the very first thing I made for Bear when I first found out I was pregnant. I picked a neutral pattern and color because I didn't know if I was having a boy or girl when I started. And now her baby brother is wearing the sweater. In July. Whatever is he going to wear in December? A suit made of fire?

The Best Fifty Cents I Ever Spent

2009-07-18T21:16:00.005-04:00

Progress (of sorts)

2009-07-17T23:03:00.004-04:00

It is far too hot to lug around the Pinwheel Sweater so I have returned to Tadpole's blanket. I think this square is done, though it may need more circles. (Any opinions?)

Then on to the circles on the blue square until my Knit Picks order arrives. I ordered 9 hanks of Simply Cotton Organic sport weight in Marshmallow to make this (the cropped version) to go with an Express dress that I picked up for $10 at Savers for Tadpole's Baptism. I cannot wait to see them together - I think that sweater was designed with my dress in mind.

Be Careful What You Wish For

2009-07-14T20:03:00.002-04:00

When I was pregnant with Tadpole I told Andrew I had just two requests - that this one like me and that he not get car sick on the way to to grocery store. Check and check. But on that first point, perhaps I should have been more specific because my spiteful wish-granting genie fashioned me a child who wants to be held constantly. By me. Just me. Which is severly cutting into my knitting time and eating time, and showering time and...

Anyone know how to knit with one hand?

SP14 Questionnaire

2009-07-07T00:13:00.003-04:00

1. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with? What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?
I have a love affair with Rowan Linen Drape but I have recently discovered bamboo blends.

2. What do you use to store your needles/hooks in?
A pink cardboard wine bottle gift cylinder thing holds my straight needles and a small basket holds the circular and double pointed needles.

3. How long have you been knitting & how did you learn? Would you consider your skill level to be beginner, intermediate or advanced?
I have been knitting since elementary school, my mom taught me. I can knit almost anything though there are things that I am too afraid to try (steeks, for example) so perhaps an advanced intermediate.

4. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?
yes

5. What's your favorite scent?
fresh cut grass, rain, the ocean

6. Do you have a sweet tooth? Favorite candy?
Of course! Sour patch kids, red Swedish fish, and those crunchy on the outside chewy on the inside raspberry things. Oh, and banana laffy taffy.

7. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do? Do you spin?
I started a scrapbook for my daughter this summer but with a three year old and a newborn knitting seems like enough right now. I have not tried spinning yet.

8. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)
Jimmy Buffet, Jill Sobule, classical, Aerosmith, country... I'm really not into top 40 pop, rap, or hip hop.

9. What's your favorite color(s)? Any colors you just can't stand?
I like nature colors and I guess you can say all colors can be found in nature somewhere. I like fall and the ocean and the forest.

10. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?
One husband, a three year old girl, a newborn son, two dogs, a thirteen year old step daughter and a partridge in a pear tree.

11. Do you wear scarves, hats, mittens or ponchos?
Scarves, hat, mittens yes. I love the look of ponchos but I've never been able to pull them off.

12. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?
Whatever looks pretty in the book.

13. What are you knitting right now?
Current WIP's are the pinwheel sweater for me, a baby blanket, a baby sweater, two tank tops, a vest, two purses, and a couple gifts I can't mention. (How embarrassing... I should really try and finish something once in a while.)

14. Do you like to receive handmade gifts?
Yes, as long as it is something I will use. I would hate to have someone put a ton of time and effort into a tug boat cozy just to have it sit in my closet seeing as how I don't have a tug boat and all.

15. Do you prefer straight or circular needles? Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?
Bamboo straights and addi circulars. I would rather swallow double pointed needles then knit with them. I use two circulars instead.

16. Do you own a yarn winder and/or swift?
Winder yes. On the right day I might trade the three year old for a swift.

17. How old is your oldest UFO?
Sadly, about three years.

18. What is your favorite holiday? What winter holiday do you observe?
Christmas, the 4th of July, and Flag Day. Christmas was always a huge family holiday when I was a kid - all the aunts and uncles and cousins at my grandparents house. The Fourth of July was an equally big holiday with the other side of our family. Flag Day was my late grandmother's birthday - we were very close and I was hoping that Tadpole would be born on the 14th but he made his appearance six days earlier.

19. Is there anything that you collect?
Yarn. Other than that I am not a knick-knack kind of person. I detest clutter (not that you can tell by the appearance of my house right now!!).

20. Any books, yarns, needles or patterns out there you are dying to get your hands on? What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?
Dying? Probably not. Knit So Fine has been on my wish list for a while. I subscribe to Interweave Knits.

21. Are there any new techniques you'd like to learn?
Magic Loop.

22. Are you a sock knitter? What are your foot measurements?
US Size 8. 9.5 inches (24cm) long, 3.5 inches (9cm) wide.

23. When is your birthday?
March 16

24. Are you on Ravelry? If so, what's your ID?
Meganlynn

Tadpole's First Bottle

2009-07-05T21:09:00.004-04:00

A momentous occasion for any baby no doubt. A more bittersweet occasion for mom.

With Bear, I gave her one bottle at about the same time - she took it without problem so I breathed a sigh of relief and avoided the whole subject of bottles and pumping until I had to go back to work. Of course, by then she had only had one bottle in three months and adamantly refused to accept a bottle for three heart wrenching, ear splitting days.

This time around we've decided to give Tadpole one bottle a day. You know, since it's so unlikely that I'll actually win the lottery by the end of August and I will have to go back to work. It's not that I think I'm cut out to be a stay at home mom - I think I'd lose my mind the first week. There's just something so horrible about leaving a three month old infant with strangers. And by the way, I LOVE our day care - they are fantastic people, very caring and compassionate. But they're not his mom, and he's so new, and little, and... sob.

This is about the time in my maternity leave with Bear that I started cursing the former president. Mister "Family Values" - we are the ONLY industrialized country without paid maternity leave. And even though it is unpaid, we have the SHORTEST amount of time that our employers are required to hold our job. Twelve weeks is just not enough time. The baby is so little and so helpless. And every pediatrician in the world will tell you that the best thing for a baby is to be exclusively breastfed for the first six months. How on earth is anyone supposed to do that?

OK. Sorry about the disjointed angry rant. Here are some cute pictures to make you forget my above spewing.

Ah, to add to my fabulous attitude the camera has eaten half of my Tadpole pictures. See you all another day.

Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T04:01:00.003-04:00

Mmmm. I think I'll leave most of this subject be except to say that my first ever very own cassette tape was Thriller. I don't remember the occasion, but I know I received it as a gift from my Grammy and Grampy along with a Strawberry Shortcake cassette tape holder.

What an odd combination.

Pinwheel Sweater

2009-06-23T20:44:00.003-04:00

So I've finally finalized my color palette for the pinwheel sweater, which turned out t0 be harder than I thought it would be. The Cascade Ginger and Knit Picks Maple Syrup are virtually identical in color so I've been torn between keeping or ditching the Knit Picks. I took the whole thing to my LYS this afternoon and spent about half an hour lining up different shades of brown next to my sweater. In the end I decided to keep the Knit Picks (for lack of a better option really) and use Berroco Ultra Alpaca in Potting Soil Mix for the last ring of my pinwheel.

You may be wondering where I'm getting all this knitting time with a newborn to take care of... well, Tadpole nurses endlessly. Between the Boppy pillow and my, um, generous endowment my hands are pretty much free for hours each day (and night). I've been knitting in circles and melting my mind with Tivo'd episodes of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.

The First of Many

2009-06-19T16:50:00.004-04:00

Every year when my friend Jill makes her annual pilgrimage home from Ohio she, Jeanine, and I take our kids to have their pictures taken together. The three of us were inseparable in high school. I love seeing our kids play together. It's amazing how different the photo sessions have been - from the first one when the girls were just babies and Jill's son, barely a year older, smacked each of them in turn to this year where the three of them, now preschoolers, were hamming it up for the camera. This was Tadpole's first professional photo shoot and he wasn't particularly cooperative but I've already made the next appointment for his one month pictures.

The Birthday Story - Part 2

2009-06-15T16:41:00.002-04:00

Once the triage nurses were finally able to get my IV going, they transferred me to my actual labor and delivery room. The nurses were going on and on about what a great room number 28 was - how it is newly renovated and big, and blah, blah, blah. Really, the last thing I cared about at that moment was the decor of the delivery room. I'm sure if the interior designer was asked to do her work during childbirth the room wouldn't look nearly as nice. Because it really doesn't matter!

My labor nurse, Kelly, was awesome. The anaesthesiology team was in the room prepping me as the last drops of the IV were dribbling in. Now, with Bear, I don't even remember the epidural being placed. I had either been in labor so long (14 hours at that point) that I didn't notice or it was so painful that I instantly blocked it out. Either way, that HURT! But then it was all good. :-)

Once I could relax, I started giving Andrew the to-do list. This week has been cold and rainy so we needed to pick out a different coming-home outfit for Tadpole. He was texting my friends and updating his Facebook status throughout the morning, so I was giving him the names of people he needed to actually call (my grandmother for instance). When I got to the part about making cupcakes with blue frosting for Bear to bring to pre-school he couldn't keep it in anymore - with a mixture of laughter and irritation he bellowed "Focus on the task at hand!" Kelly chimed in with, "You have a lot of hard work ahead of you. Rest." So I rested.

A bit later, I asked Kelly if the catheter was still in because it was really uncomfortable. She was like, "Um, no." So my doctor came in, took one look, and yelled for a baby nurse as she was gowning up. Apparently, the "catheter" was the baby. I had been telling everyone (the labor nurse, the doctor, the medical student) that I had pushed for almost four hours with Bear. Kelly kept saying, "Yeah, we're not doing that today." I kind of took it as her being positive and keeping me going. Well three contractions and eight pushes later, Tadpole arrived.

Andrew and I kept looking at each other saying, "Can you believe this?" It was incredible. We went from not even knowing if I was really in labor to holding our newborn son. What an amazing day.

The Birthday Story - Part 1

2009-06-10T23:06:00.005-04:00

Monday morning I woke up around 2:30 with some cramps and mild contractions. I didn't really think much of it, since I still had two weeks to go. I kept having contractions so I started "tracking" them. The previous Friday, my obstetrician had told me to that when the contractions were 5-7 minutes apart and lasting at least one minute each to go to the hospital. My contractions were all over the place. So much so that I wasn't even sure that I was having contractions. I'd have one that would last 30 seconds, four minutes later I'd have one that lasted 45 seconds, then 40 seconds later I'd have another one that lasted 45 seconds.

At 5:30 I woke Andrew up and asked if he felt like having a baby that day. He kind of grunted something about not being funny so early in the morning and went back to sleep. THEN when I told him I wasn't kidding he said "Are you sure it's not just Braxton-Hicks? Why don't you just go to work and see what happens?" I told him I wasn't going to work, that I thought he should bring Bear and K to school (we had my step-daughter this weekend) and then come back home and get me. About ten minutes later I was like, OK, plan B - call my mom, have her come over and take the girls to school because we're going to the hospital.

While we waited for my mom to get to the house, we finished packing the hospital bag... I had started packing it SUNDAY and there were still several things that were not yet packed. Like the baby book. And the camera. So we tossed a bunch of stuff in there hoping we weren't forgetting anything essential and headed out. Andrew is joking with me the whole way there - like I was really in the mood for jokes. How this was his morning to sleep in, stop yelling at the guy in the high speed lane doing 50 it's not like I'm having a baby or anything - ha, ha, ha. At one point I told him not to mess with me because I had been up all night and there wasn't even any Diet Pepsi in the house. So he offers to stop and get me one on the way.

When we hit the exit for the hospital we got in the left hand lane to go to the Wendy's (they serve breakfast, how weird is that?) to get a Diet Pepsi. All of a sudden this monster contraction hit and Andrew took the next right and says, "Aannddd we're going to the hospital." When we got there the nurse took my vital signs while Andrew took care of the paperwork. Then she looks at us and says, "OK so you're going to head upstairs to labor room 3." Andrew went white and asked if I was really already that far along. The nurse says, no, a water pipe burst in the triage area so they were using the first couple of labor rooms for triage. (Perhaps she should have started with that.)

We get upstairs, the doctor comes in and says "OK, you're four centimeters so we're going to get you admitted." Andrew looks at me and says, "I didn't bring the bag in." Really? So now he has to head through the labyrinth of halls back to the parking lot and be buzzed through about 3 separate security doors to get back to the delivery room. While he's gone the nurse tries to start my IV so I can get the pre-requisite liter of fluids before they can start the epidural. Three really painful tries later it's still not in. My contractions are now about a minute and a half apart and intense. I told her I REALLY didn't want to miss that window of opportunity for the epidural and I would drink the liter of fluids if necessary. She laughed as though I were joking.

Tadpole

2009-06-08T21:39:00.007-04:00

June 8, 2009

12 days early

11:23 am

8 pounds 3 ounces

ADD

2009-06-04T10:36:00.005-04:00

I have knitting ADD. I cannot focus on the SIX projects I have waiting to be finished. Instead, I decided to start the pinwheel sweater using a bunch of worsted weight stash that I have lying around. In fairness to myself I have made some minimal progress on the embroidered circles on baby Tadpole's blanket, but that's really been it.

I decided to do fall shades of orange and brown since I have a couple of hanks leftover from my Two-Toned Shrug (one leftover that I used, and one leftover that I bought and decided didn't really match the shrug) and almost four hanks of superwash ivory that I used some as is and dyed (my first dyeing project!!) in small batches to use. So far I L-O-V-E the color palette... the Cascade 220 Superwash in ivory, a mustardy yellow (superwash dyed), a butternut squash color (superwash dyed), Louet Riverstone in citrus, Cascade 220 in ginger, Knit Picks Wool of the Andes in Maple Syrup, and then I plan on overdying my Cascade 220 Tangerine Heather to a dark brown (it's just too bright to incorporate as is) for the last color circle. I know, a picture is worth a thousand words but I'm at work right now - perhaps I have ADD in general, since despite having a chart open in front of me I am blogging on and on about knitting and watching ER on the TV of the patient's room in front of me. Anyway, a picture will have to wait.

So far I have two color rounds completed (ivory and yellow) and will start the butternut round as soon as they yarn dries. Loving this project.

The color scheme thus far (can't take a picture without Bear in it!).

16 days and counting.

Beautiful People

2009-05-29T21:38:00.002-04:00

Me: Bear, can Daddy go to Dean's birthday party with you?

Bear: No! He doesn't have anything beautiful to wear!

Vermont

2009-05-28T23:45:00.000-04:00

Bear and I joined Andrew on an overnight work trip to Vermont. We drove up last night and home tonight. (Note to self: If I am ever 37 weeks pregnant again DO NOT plan a four hour car trip two days in a row.)

Bear was most impressed with the hotel. She walked into the bathroom and giggled hysterically upon seeing the bathtub. She thought it was great that there were two beds AND a couch all in the same room. And there was a little refrigerator just for her. It also helped that one of the hotel personnel gave her a package of Oreo's at breakfast.

While Andrew worked, Bear and I toured the Vermont Teddy Bear Factory. We got there shortly after they opened for the day, so there were a total of four people on our tour - meaning Bear got to press all the buttons and play with all the samples. And she got a lot of her requisite one on one attention from our fantastic tour guide (thanks Gina!).

Her favorite part was the teddy bear hospital. Especially the example of what happens when you leave your Bear outside and Daddy runs over it with the lawn mower.

After the teddy bear tour it was pouring out so we scrapped our plans (outdoor gardens)and visited a toy store, book store, and a LYS. Bear got sparkly gold dress up shoes and I got some Rowan Organic Cotton. Then we went to get Daddy at work and Bear got to "help".

On the way home we stopped at an amazing restaurant in Manchester, NH. (I am the queen of picking out good places to eat based solely on the list generated by the GPS.)

During the drive (when I wasn't squirming to find a comfortable position) I managed to make another cabled baby bib for yet another colleague of Andrew's and to make some progress on Tadpole's blanket.

22 days and counting.

Bridal Shower

2009-05-18T04:14:00.003-04:00

Bear came with me yesterday morning to pick out a bridal shower gift for a co-worker of mine. I chose two beautiful crystal water goblets off her registry. Bear was not impressed with the registry. Nor was she impressed with the other practical gifts I tried to point her towards. (Boring! I wish I could capture in print the attitude and disgust in her voice.) I managed to talk her out of the microwave and the hot pink fly swatter but I lost the war.

In front of all her aunts, cousins, friends, and bridesmaids "Miss Jen" opened a box of 100-calorie pack Sour Patch Kids and a matching box of 100-calorie pack Swedish Fish.

At least it wasn't wrapped in Hannah Montana paper.

Shocked and Awed

2009-05-13T21:44:00.004-04:00

Bear had her first visit to the dentist today. You may remember this trip to the pediatrician. With that in mind I had steeled myself for a complete horror show. Spitting, biting, restraints, I was ready.

But she was amazing. Absolutely amazing.

First off, I have to say that the hygienist, Trish, was great. I guess being a pediatric dentist practice and all they would know just how to handle kids but she was great with Bear. First she showed her to her special princess lounge chair. Then Trish let her see and touch each of the tools she would be using. She sprayed Bear's hair with air. Then shot water out the window, then at Mommy, and finally in Bear's mouth. Then "Mr. Thirsty" sucked a pool of water out of Bear's hand. Then her mouth. When Trish put the head of the chair back there was a mirror positioned directly above so Bear could see what was going on. When she had to turn on the overhead light, Trish gave her sunglasses to wear. She let Bear pick what color tooth brush (pink), what flavor tooth paste (bubble gum), and what flavor fluoride (cherry) to use. She was able to keep Bear involved and therefore relaxed.

For all my fears, she was amazing. She didn't flinch or even complain. Not even when they flossed her teeth. The hygienist told me that they have older kids who don't do that well. I was stunned.

Then came the prizes. A pink plastic car (that lost its wheels 10 seconds into the car ride home), a hippopotamus sticker, and a pink balloon longer than Bear. (Pictures tomorrow, once the princess wakes from her beauty sleep!)

We called Grandma the second we got in the car to tell her how wonderful Bear had been. Grandma had played dentist all day Tuesday with her, which I think played a big part in how receptive Bear had been to this new experience. Grandma confirmed my thoughts that such an amazing display deserved a trip to the toy store. (Not something I would usually condone, but a three year old, being a perfect angel at the dentist, consider it a grateful sacrifice to the gods.) After looking over the dolls, and jump ropes, and various musical instruments at Target she chose... a Dora scooter. More sacrifice than I had planned on, but when you say "any toy you want" I guess you had better be prepared to suffer the consequences.

We came home, Mommy muddled her way through the Diego directions that came with the scooter (clearly I chose the repackaged one) and we went for a scooter ride to the park. I am just so darn proud of my little girl today.

46 Days 6 WIP's

2009-05-05T14:38:00.004-04:00

Can it happen?

I doubt it. Considering I wanted to post this last Saturday with WIP pictures but just haven't gotten around to taking the pictures yet (because I haven't gotten around to charging the camera battery yet).

Ah, but I dare to dream of finishing all my WIP's before baby Tadpole makes his appearance.

Two FO's

2009-04-25T09:21:00.004-04:00

Cotton Stretch Infant Hat

Pattern: Cotton Stretch Infant Hat
Yarn: Cascade Fixation Blueberry
Begun: 4/23/2009
Finished: 4/24/2009

Notes: Super quick super easy baby hat. Tadpole will wear this in the hospital after he is born. (Modeled by Bear and her doll Lucy.)

Amanda's Squatty Sidekick

Pattern: Amanda's Squatty Sidekick
Yarn: Briggs & Little Atlantic #75 Mulberry
Begun: 3/18/2009
Finished: 4/22/09

Notes: Made this for the Felted Purse Exchange on Ravelry. The purse ended up a lot bigger than I expected, though it's still cute. My one issue with this pattern... for the life of me I couldn't figure out how to pick up the stitches around the bottom and then keep knitting so I ended up picking up the stitches and turning my work around to continue knit stitch. The first time I did this I ended up making the increases for the sides about two inches off so I had to rip apart the entire thing and start over. The second time around I realized my mistake and adjusted the pattern for my knitting it "backwards".

Things I Never Thought I Would Say Out Loud

2009-04-18T10:54:00.002-04:00

NO! NO! NO! Use NEW toilet paper to wipe your nose!

Easter Eggs

2009-04-16T13:12:00.002-04:00

This past Friday Bear and I went to my aunt's house to color Easter eggs with two of my cousins. My aunt had the usual colored plastic bowls that you fill with water and vinegar. She also bought a kit that had gel paint and small sponges. (The kit did include tweezers to hold the sponges but really, I can't get her to use a fork most days, never mind tweezers.)

Bear had a blast. The eggs are still in a basket in our family room. I'm going to have to sneak them out to the trash soon, before my whole house smells like spoiled eggs.

Hands, after the third round of soap and water.

Book Review: Eat, Pray, Love

2009-04-15T04:26:00.002-04:00

I bought this book at the airport last year during my business trip to Washington, D.C. and I've been reading it on and off for the past year. Not because I couldn't get into it, but because I only read it when I had a big chunk of uninterrupted time alone. Those rare occasions when I escape early in the morning for breakfast alone at the diner down the street or afternoons when Bear actually naps and I can curl up with a big steaming cup of tea.

The book is divided into three sections, as the title suggests. After a horribly messy divorce, Elizabeth Gilbert leaves the United States on a yearlong quest to find herself and lose her guilt over leaving her husband and disrupting their "Leave It to Beaver" life. She eats her way through Italy, prays for four months in India, and falls in love in Indonesia. The book was an easy, almost comforting read. Gilbert writes straight from her innermost thoughts and it's easy to feel as though you are sitting with a close friend. She's able to do a lot of soul searching without being whiny. And even though she's praying in India for four months, the book is not preachy.

This is a book I would recommend and one I will most likely read again.

Nutrition Fuels Fitness 5K

2009-04-14T18:32:00.006-04:00

This past weekend was the Rhode Island Dietetics Association's annual Nutrition Fuels Fitness 5K. I volunteered at the raffle table with another dietitian from my hospital while Andrew took Bear to the kids fun run and then the obstacle course.

I got to watch her run the fun run. Definitely my child. She came in dead last in her heat, by about 10 yards (it was a 50 yard run). Well, not dead last. She did manage to beat the 18-month old who couldn't quite walk on her own and had two adults holding her hands as she chased after the rest of the kids.

This is from the obstacle course (can you tell Daddy was in charge of hair and wardrobe Saturday?)

On the knitting front, I actually am knitting. I've just been working on a felted purse for a swap so I can't really show pictures or whine about the pattern and my utter stupidity at reading said pattern as I forced myself to completely knit this one purse twice.

I also have some great Easter egg dying pictures to share as soon as I get electronic copies.

Book Review: Lethal Shadow

2009-04-09T22:34:00.007-04:00

I love true crime. I love The First 48, Forensic Files, The Real NCIS, etc. etc. One night I was watching Investigation Discovery (I think) and saw a story on Mike DeBardeleben. I had never heard of this guy before so I was psyched to see something new. This guy was on par with the best known criminals out there - Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, the Green River Killer, but unlike those well-known criminals, he has never confessed to any of his horrible crimes (except counterfeiting). I googled him, found this book, and ordered it right away.

Disturbed. That is the only way to describe this book.

Mike DeBardeleben was probably the most prolific counterfeiter in the history of the United States. He eluded the Secret Service for years. When he was finally caught the Secret Service uncovered evidence of just about every felony known to mankind - murder, rape, kidnapping, robbery, bank scams, the list goes on and on. He was even linked to the murder of a real estate agent here in Rhode Island. Usually I can brush this stuff off but this guys story is haunting.

So all in all, as an example of the genre, an excellent true crime book. I wouldn't recommend it though.

Slowing Down

2009-04-09T21:50:00.002-04:00

I write this lying on my side, with two pillows between my knees, another pillow wedged under my belly, and three more below my head. My back is tightly wound around an invisible coil. I have reached this point in pregnancy - again.

With Bear, this point came much quicker. I was barely in my fifth month when my right leg stopped working. I dragged myself around like a modern day Quasimodo. Up until yesterday, whenever anyone asked me how I felt I always answered "fantastic" or "great" or "wonderful" or "so much better than last time". Apparently the spirits had been goaded enough.

So now I am reduced to the essentials. Making sure we each have enough clean clothes for at least tomorrow. Making sure Bear has something substantial for dinner. Making her breakfast and lunch for pre-school, making sure she takes a bath. Feeding the dogs. And then I crash. I lie down with my pillows and my books and I resign from the real world until morning.

My husband is left with the lions share of the work. And when added to his crazy work schedule - our house looks, well, lets just say I hope we're not inspected for anything anytime soon.

Easter Pictures

2009-04-05T12:49:00.004-04:00

In the land of lame excuses

2009-03-28T16:12:00.002-04:00

lies this one.

I have not been to the gym in over a week because I cannot find the belt clip to my fancy pedometer and my exercise pants don't have pockets. I feel it's not worth going to the gym if I can't count the steps towards my 10,000/day goal.

Plagued

2009-03-20T18:42:00.003-04:00

Apparently, Andrew and I have offended whatever spirit lives in our house...

Bear started with *high fevers followed by nothing for 24 hours* (repeat starred section) Saturday night. Tuesday she stopped turning her head and would instead turn her entire body if she needed to look at something. We spent Tuesday night on the phone with the pediatrician and checking on her hourly to make sure she wasn't developing meningitis. She was fine Wednesday and then started with the stiff neck thing again Wednesday night (another sleepless night of checking on Bear hourly). Thursday we finally took her to the pediatrician and found out she has strep throat - her swollen glands are probably causing her neck pain.

In the meantime, Andrew goes to the doctor to have his sore knee looked at and finds out that he has a partially torn ligament in his knee. Samantha and Alice went to the vet Wednesday for their yearly check up and shots BUT it seems Alice has an ulcer on her eye and an elevated white blood cell count so she can't get her shots. And Samantha has a double ear infection. So three prescriptions, a pending referral to a doggy ophthalmologist, and $350 later the dogs are on their way to well being.

But wait, in the middle of the night last night, Samantha fell off the bed. (Our bed is about 3 1/2 feet high.) No big deal, it happens sometimes. But last night, in flailing her paws about to stay on the bed she managed to snap off one of her nails. We woke up this morning to pools of blood all over the carpet.

If anything else goes wrong by the end of the week I am moving out until the church declares this place habitable again.

Posy Slip

2009-03-17T18:01:00.003-04:00

I love Interweave Knits as much as the next girl, however, I think someone has lost their mind with this one. The Posy Slip is cute - though I definitely wouldn't make it in purple and I'm not such a big fan of the striping effect of the yarn. But the biggest draw back? The part of this dress that would land me in divorce court? This dress calls for Artyarns Silk Pearl. Eleven to fourteen hanks of Silk Pearl. In case you're not understanding my outrage, that would cost you somewhere in the neighborhood of $440 - $560 not including shipping. There are wedding dresses that cost less.

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Sweater Controversy

2009-03-14T10:23:00.004-04:00

I love this radio show, but this might be the funniest thing I ever heard...

First, an offhand comment by Mo Rocca (3:30-4:00 if you don't want to listen to the whole thing).

And now his apology.

Appreciated

2009-03-13T18:32:00.001-04:00

Bear: So I'm going to be a big sister and a little sister?

Me: Yup.

Bear. Thanks mom, I couldn't have done it without you.

Dear Baby Tadpole,

2009-03-09T23:38:00.001-04:00

My lungs are not footrests.
My bladder is not a trampoline.
It is very hard to sleep at night when your insides are doing the Jitterbug.
"Above average" is not something you have to achieve at birth.
Enough with the Cadbury Eggs and the apples with peanut butter already.
I love you.

love,
mama

Pay-It-Forward Pillow

2009-03-08T21:09:00.003-04:00

Pattern: Handspun Cushion

Yarn: Patons Classic Wool
Begun: 7/30/08
Finished: 3/8/09
Notes: Only seven months late... I like the finished product. The close-up picture shows a lot of white peeking through the stitches but in reality you can't even tell that the pillow stuffing the knitted cover is white. I really like the buttons, too. They match perfectly. I started the pillow doing chocolate brown and very dark brown stripes but I hated how it looked so I ripped it back and did the entire pillow in chocolate brown. I'm much happier with that choice. I hope she likes it.

Ballerina Wrap

2009-03-01T16:27:00.003-05:00

Pattern: Ballerina Wrap from Adorable Knits for Tots

Yarn: Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmerino
Size: 3-4 years

Begun: 11/8/08

Finished: 3/1/09

Notes: I originally planned on making this for Bear to wear at Sara's wedding, but obviously that didn't happen. It came out cute, though the sleeves look puffy to me and the edging doesn't quite lie flat. Bear likes it and really, that's all that matters.

Bear's Favorite Exhibit at the Boston Museum of Science

2009-02-28T09:55:00.004-05:00

Leverett Circle

WIP: Circles and Stripes Blanket

2009-02-21T20:13:00.007-05:00

The four squares are done. I was initially disappointed that Bernat didn't make a darker brown for me to use, but I like the way the colors look together.

In looking at some of the finished objects on Ravelry, I was worried about ending up with wonky looking circles so I came up with a little plan.

Start with a stencil and a water soluble fabric marker.

The marker is fine tipped and pretty light but if you look closely you can see the blue outline.

Then, following the pattern directions, I crocheted a circle onto the tan square.

Then I whipped stitched around the crocheted circle.

The circle still isn't as neat as I had hoped but I can live with it. The whip stitching takes forever. (Notice how the circle is only 3/4 of the way done?)

The only flaw in my plan? Notice the color of the pen? Notice the color of the other solid square? It looks like I'm going back to the craft store.

Flu

2009-02-20T16:16:00.002-05:00

How does a kid that got the flu shot get the flu? By going to the Children's Museum during school vacation week, that's how. (I'm pretty sure anyway.)

After giving her teaspoon after teaspoon of water (and cleaning up tablespoon after tablespoon of puke) I finally gave in to my hysterical mother core and took Bear to the emergency room. They sent us home with some anti-nausea medicine and instructions to keep her hydrated.

She's now happily eating "hot cheese and chips" - the only lunch she would agree to - and watching Robots for the third time today.

FINALLY!!

2009-02-19T22:35:00.003-05:00

So my dinasour of a computer is still on the fritz. Right now I'm using Andrew's company laptop to connect to the rest of the world again.

Here are a few quick updates on what's going on in my little corner of the planet. Then, I'm off to see what's going on in your world.

After coughing like a seal for the past month, I finally convinced an actual doctor to see me and prescribe me something, anything, to make it stop. My OB gave me cough syrup, cough syrup with codeine for night time, and an inhaler. I feel a billion times better in just 24 hours. Yahoo.
But of course, since I feel better, Bear is sick. She has some horrible stomach bug and has kept down a total of 4 ounces of water all day. Yes, just water. This is the child that will drink whatever disgusting liquid medicine she is prescribed but literally HIDES BEHIND THE COUCH if I try to poison her with Gateraide or Pedialyte.
The ballerina wrap is on its way to being done. The pieces have been knit and blocked. It's just waiting for me to come up with some finishing energy.
The circles and stripes blanket has three squares done and the fourth is on the needles. I think I'm going to double to the width of the cable edging, knit it in the round and knit it onto the blanket as I go. Then I will add a fabric piece to the back of the blanket so that there isn't a "wrong" side once the blanket is done.

That's it for my world, for now. :-)

On the Way to School

2009-02-05T10:38:00.000-05:00

Bear: When I grow up I going to be a teacher.

Me: A teacher? That's a very good thing to be.

Bear: Yeah, a teacher. Or maybe a big tree.

Contest to Cure Cancer

2009-02-01T00:45:00.003-05:00

Sad Lonely Crafter sent me to this contest. My heart goes out to Elisabeth, Roy, and their entire family.

Koolhaas

2009-01-31T10:48:00.006-05:00

(So where have I been? Here... with a frozen laptop and a desktop computer with a broken monitor. My husband has been in Chicago on a business trip with the laptop that works. Grrr.)

Pattern: Koolhaas by Jared Flood

Yarn: Cascade 220 Superwash color #817 Aran
Size: Women's
Begun: 1/16/09
Finished: 1/31/09
Notes: I decided to drop everything and make this hat because I lost the hat I bought myself in NYC. (The color is actually more cream than the picture shows.) I had put this hat in my que on Ravelry the minute I saw it but I was worried about all the cables. The cable part turned out to be easier than I thought. I figured out that the knit stitch is always in front which made it possible to knit without constantly looking at the pattern. AND I figured out how to do the knit-only cables without a cable needle (taught myself, how smart am I?) which made those rows go much quicker. It's nice and warm and the superwash ensures that my loving husband won't felt it in the wash.

And the Ultrasound said...

2009-01-24T09:13:00.004-05:00

It's a boy!!

Modern Cabled Baby Bib

2009-01-08T23:50:00.003-05:00

Pattern: Modern Cabled Baby Bib by gibsongirl

Yarn: Lion Brand Cotton Ease in color #110 Lake

Size: One size

Begun: 1/7/09

Finished: 1/8/09

Notes: Very cute, very easy baby bib. Made because my husband came home Wednesday and said, "My new boss has a new grandson. Can you make me something to give to him on Friday?" Never, ever want him to complain about the sticks and string again.

Why Do I Love Thee So

2009-01-06T05:24:00.003-05:00

An ode to the Circle and Stripes Stroller Blanket.

1. Your drape is beautiful.

2. You knit up so quickly.

3. You are so darn classic looking.

4. I don't have to lug around an entire blanket to work on you.

5. You will be for my baby.

Thanks, but...

2009-01-04T01:28:00.003-05:00

Becasue I live near the local high school, the city uses a bobcat to clear the snow from the sidewalk on our side of the street. Awesome.

The guy who operates the bobcat seems to only work between the hours of midnight and 3:00am. Not so awesome.

I Learn Something New Every Day

2009-01-03T22:58:00.001-05:00

So, despite all my WIP's languishing about I decided to start making a baby blanket for Tadpole. I made Bear a blanket when I was pregnant with her (though I swore it would be my last ever) so Tadpole needs his (?her) own blanket too. I saw this blanket in Itty Bitty Nursery while hanging out at Borders the other day and being the ~~poor~~ frugal knitter that I am I put the book back on the shelf at Borders and picked it up off the shelf at my local library.

I love, love, love this blanket. I'm using Bernat Organic Cotton which feels incredibly soft and drapes wonderfully. (I'm sure the Blue Sky Alpacas Organic Cotton the pattern calls for is lovely too but it isn't machine washable. Hello - baby blanket.) I've finished one plain stockinette square and started the striped square today. The stripe pattern calls for three rows of each color per stripe. Three? I'm not weaving in all those ends. BUT you use a circular needle and the "sliding" technique. I've never heard of that before. It is so cool and very clearly explained here.

How have I never heard of this before? Three rows is the PERFECT stripe pattern (at least in this case) and I don't have to weave in a million ends. Brilliant.

Um, I asked for toys.

2008-12-28T14:16:00.001-05:00

Bear, opening one of her gifts from Sissy.

Book Review: Knit Two

2008-12-27T15:44:00.003-05:00

This is the sequel to Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs. My step-daughter gave this to me Christmas morning (I didn't even know she had written a sequel!!) and I finished it last night. What does that tell you?

I really, really, really liked this book. It's set five years after Friday Night Knitting Club ends. Dakota is 18 and a freshman in college, Lucie is a successful video director, her sweet baby is a rambunctious five year old, Anita and Marty are still together, Dan is finally back in NYC with Darwin - her dissertation is finished and she's now a Women's Studies professor, and so much more but I don't want to give anything away. I could not put this book down.

My only complaint? One of the books plots ends a little too neatly for me. That's all.

In the Nick of Time?

2008-12-22T06:37:00.002-05:00

It's done.

Now my husband just has to Express Mail it to Pennsylvania today. But it is done. And before Christmas at that.

THIS just makes us all look bad

2008-12-15T19:57:00.001-05:00

Pause

2008-12-11T05:17:00.004-05:00

I know that I promised to blog every day during the month of December. However, Tuesday night my world came crashing down around me. I really don't want to go into details. Suffice it to say that I need a moment to myself.

NOT a Morning Bear

2008-12-08T21:08:00.003-05:00

Bear is not a morning Bear. Not in any sense of the word. She routinely pulls the blankets and/or pillows over her head in the morning and groans, "Not yet!" or "Snuggle with me!" It would be funny if it didn't take 45 minutes to get her out of bed in the morning. Or after nap time. Or anytime she falls asleep.

Which leads me to today's check up with the pediatrician. She fell asleep on the way there which meant we had to wake her up. It wasn't pretty.

We checked in, took off her coat, and then it was out turn. (Since when do doctors run AHEAD of schedule?!) The poor thing had virtually no transition time. She definitely didn't have her requisite 45 minutes. So we dragged her into the exam room, literally, and stripped her down to her big girl underpants. She sat on the floor kicking me. So I moved to the other side of the room. So she crawled next to me and continued to kick me.

The pediatrician came in and I won't go into deep detail. I think these two comments can pretty much sum up our visit... "Most children need one minute per year old for a time-out but she may need two minutes per year. " And perhaps the more telling comment, "The best preparation I ever had for this job was the high school wrestling team."

Now, don't get me wrong, I love Bear's pediatrician. He is warm, caring, and not the least bit condescending. Not even when I asked him if Bear's post-nap-sweaty-folded-in-half-ear could become permanent. Or when I insisted, at five days old, that she was YELLOW. Clearly she was YELLOW, couldn't he see that? So he ordered stat labs on a Friday afternoon to calm my crazy first time mom self. But today, I felt like the worst mother in the world.

My three year old was literally on the floor, writhing about, screaming, throwing a text book temper tantrum and I was absolutely powerless. There was NOTHING I could do to calm the storm or make it stop. I simply had to wait it out, something the doctor did not have time to do. (She eventually did calm down and even participated in her eye exam. And then she told the nurse that she was "NOT NICE!" when she gave Bear her flu shot.)

And then the best part. We had to tell him that, guess what! We're expecting again. You know, since we've obviously totally screwed up with this one we're going to try again. We can't do any worse right?

I'm sure every parent goes through this. (Tell me every parent goes through this... right?) But I still feel like a complete failure.

Perspective

2008-12-07T12:30:00.001-05:00

This morning, looking out the kitchen window...

Me & Andrew: Ugh! Are you kidding me? Gross.

Bear: NO!!!!!!!!!!!! It's Nowing!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah! YAHOO!!! I want to make nomen!!! I can't wait to make noflakes!! MOMMY!!! LOOK OUT THE WINDOW!!! IT'S NOWING!!!! DADDY LOOK!!!!

Sick

2008-12-06T21:37:00.003-05:00

As anyone who has ever lived with me will attest to, I am the worst sick person on this planet.

I am achy, tired, my nose is leaking, and my face hurts. I hate being sick. And to make it even worse - I can't take anything, except Tylenol. I might as well take Skittles - they taste better and have essentially the same effect.

Sleep is virtually impossible since I can barely breathe sitting straight up. (See why I'm a bad sick person? Can you hear the whine?)

I hate being sick.

Conference

2008-12-05T22:13:00.000-05:00

The nice thing about spending all day at a conference, besides not actually being at work, is that I got to finish the left front piece of the Ballerina Wrap. Oh, and learning. That too. (Actually the conference was really interesting, and I did learn a lot - the kntting piece was a bonus.)

The nice thing about blogging every day - I have to actually get some knitting done. :-)

Two Hours

2008-12-04T21:35:00.003-05:00

of my life that I will never get back.

Room by Bear

Room by Mommy.

Commissioned

2008-12-03T20:13:00.003-05:00

Anyone who knits has invariably been asked, "Can you make me a (fill in the blank)?" My knee-jerk response has always been, "I can teach you." But now I find myself with two projects that are mine solely due to my big mouth.

The first I acquired this summer and have done an entire gauge swatch for thus far. It's for a woman I work with. She bought the yarn on vacation despite the fact that she has never knit a stitch in her life. Also despite the fact that she had to beg, plead, and bribe the pattern out of the woman who owned the yarn shop. (Apparently the pattern is the creation of said owner and it wasn't for sale, trade, or ransom.) What's stopping me? Besides the fact that I am a schizophrenic knitter who can't seem to focus? There's no picture. I don't know if what I'm making is right. It's infuriating.

The second belongs to Andrew's aunt. (I couldn't really say no now could I?) She actually knit the pieces but has asked me to finish it - including weaving in all the loose ends and seeming the whole thing. Again, this pattern doesn't come with a picture, but at least I have more of an idea of what it's supposed to look like. This one has a time limit though. It's a Christmas present and has to be mailed to Pennsylvania first so I really should finish it before the end of this week.

This IS a knitting blog right?

2008-12-02T19:55:00.005-05:00

It is. A sorely neglected knitting blog but that is what is it. So I'm going to make it up to my blog. This month I am going to post every single day. OK, so I cheated a bit by backdating that last post - but really every single day in December. Even Christmas. And New Year's Eve.

And to start, some actual knitting content.

I didn't finish the two little sweaters I started for Bear for Sara's wedding (big surprise). But I paid good money for the Baby Cashmerino for the Ballerina Wrap and traded away seven balls of Berocco Air for the Cashmerino Aran to make the Molly Bolero. So by gone I am going to finish them both.

I'm actually making good progress on the Ballerina Wrap.

OK, now I am off to troll the blogs of all my bloggy friends that I have been neglecting lately. See you tomorrow!

Confidence

2008-12-01T19:50:00.000-05:00

The other day Bear was playing dress up - she was wearing her poofy Cinderella dress and her green with big yellow polka dots Dorothy the Dinosaur hat. While sifting through her dress up box she found a little hand mirror I had given her. Opening up the mirror, she looked up at me and said, "Let me see how beautiful I look." After a quick glance in the mirror she slammed it shut and announced, "Yup."

First Dance

2008-11-23T21:03:00.005-05:00

Andrew and I got married six years ago on top of a mountain in New Hampshire. Everyone who asks will hear the same response... it was the best decision of my life. We saved ourselves thousands of dollars and had the wedding of our dreams.

Whenever my friends are in the wee weeks before the big day, stressing out about the final seating plan and dealing with last minute glitches they always turn to me and say, I should have done what you did. I always laugh.

There's only one thing I have ever regretted. Andrew and I never got our first dance. We never got to dance to our song, just us. Of course, we've danced together to that song at every wedding we've been to for the past six years. Our close friends always make sure that "our song" is on the absolute must play list. We simply harass the DJ at acquaintance's weddings. :-)

Last night, Sara changed that. After all the traditional wedding dances Sara got up in front of the room and started with something along the lines of "When my good friend Megan got married on top of mountain six years ago..." I didn't hear the rest. What I did hear was the opening chords of True Companion by Marc Cohen.

Andrew and I finally had our first dance. I'm crying just writing about it.

Thank you.

Back in the Saddle

2008-11-22T08:41:00.010-05:00

OK ladies, I think that the puke fest is finally over. I am still exhausted but a lot of that is my own fault. Wednesday night was Sara's bachelorette party in New York City. We took the train in from New Haven, CT to Grand Central Station and hit all the touristy spots (Rockefeller Center, Radio City Music Hall, Bloomingdale's) and a really cute little bar before finally having dinner at 11:00pm at Planet Hollywood. Yes, we were still in NYC at 11pm. We ended up taking the 2am train out of Grand Central back to New Haven. I walked in my front door at 7:15 Thursday morning, took a shower and went to work. So I'm not 19 anymore, and I was a disaster at work all day. Whatever. NYC was a blast and totally worth it!

I got about 16 rows done on the shrug that Bear was supposed to wear tonight for the wedding. Mmmmh, only about, I don't know, two hundred rows short of an actual shrug. The wedding IS indoors.

So tonight is the wedding. I can't wait. I am so excited to see Bear be the flower girl and I am SOOO happy for Sara. I can't believe this day is actually here. My dress is super cute. From Motherhood Maternity and a whole size smaller than I thought I needed. (I tried on the bigger size and the sales girl was like, oooooh, see how big this is, try on the smaller one. Yahoo.)

So now for some pictures... you didn't expect a two-week hiatus with no pictures did you?

The chandelier at the train station in New Haven, CT.

Times Square, NYC

Our collection, I had the Diet Coke.

Dinner music.

Knitting Weekend

2008-11-09T18:58:00.007-05:00

This weekend, Slater Mill held a Knitting Weekend with Norah Gaughan and Annie Modesitt to celebrate the opening of the new education center and community guild studios. I was able to attend the wine and cheese reception Friday night (sans the wine) and I took a lace knitting class with Annie Modesitt this morning.

First off, the setting is perfect. Slater Mill, the birthplace of American textile manufacturing - could there be a more fitting location? The upstairs portion of the museum has been redone, with wide oak (well, wood, I'm not a tree expert or anything but it looked like oak to me) floor boards, glass panels with glass doors separating portions of the studio, and beautiful paned windows that look out onto the river and can open to let in the sound of the slight waterfall. Even the grounds are gorgeous, and that's pretty hard to do in downtown Pawtucket.

The wine and cheese reception was hysterical. Norah and Annie are like a comedy duo - they had the entire crowd laughing for most of the night. They also hung around and graciously signed books afterwards. Since I already have a signed copy of Knitting Nature (I met Norah Gaughan about two years ago at Yarnia in Woonsocket, RI) I got Annie Modesitt's book Cheaper than Therapy.

The class today was amazing, even though I was admonished for talking several times (ah, reminds me of my school days). She spoke about lace as if it were normal. We practiced with DK weight yarn so it was easy to see the pattern develop after only a few rows. (So I realize even more now why black mohair was a really poor first choice for lace knitting.) I left having learned a few tricks and feeling confident that I could successfully knit lace - even if it isn't going to be a black sparkly Seascape right off the bat.

Next Tuesday night (the 18th) will be the official opening of the Jenks Education Center and the Community Guild Studios with the ribbon cutting ceremony at 6:30pm. If you're within driving distance, I would highly encourage you to attend.

So here are some pictures from the grounds... I didn't take any during class (I was in enough trouble as it was.)

Why haven't I been knitting (or blogging) lately?

2008-11-05T13:33:00.004-05:00

A) It's hard to knit and puke at the same time.

B) I can't keep a secret.

C) All of the above.

If you guessed C - you're right!!! (If you haven't figured it out yet, we're having a baby!) Sometime towards the end of June, Bear will have a new brother or sister to terrorize. We can't wait!

Princess Party

2008-10-26T20:36:00.006-04:00

So Bear will be three next week - can you believe it?!? On one hand, I feel like I gave birth yesterday. On the other, she is so incredibly grown up. She says the funniest things, especially when she is talking back (with attitude). Andrew and I find ourselves laughing hysterically on a daily basis, though we try to wait until she leaves the room, discipline being totally undermined by hysterical laughter and all.

Yesterday we had her third birthday ~~extravaganza~~ party, hosted at her gymnastics school. I convinced two of the nurses that I work with that it would be FUN to dress up like princesses and come play with three-year-olds on their day off. Amazingly, they actually showed up. Bear was a little afraid of them at first, but that wore off quickly, and soon she was bellowing for the princesses to follow her all over the gym.

The party was a big hit with kids and adults alike. Really, what's not to like about trampolines and soft mats? A friend of mine made a Cinderella cake which was amazing. Bear seemed a little confused about it, but she remembered how to blow out the candles!

She got about a gazillion presents - she didn't even open them, she was too busy playing with Cinderella and Snow White, so I opened them and tried to get her to at least look at them and acknowledged the people that gave them to her.

Andrew and I got her the Little Tykes Kid Tough Digital Camera. (And her Sissy gave her a photo printer - yes, my three year old got a digital camera and a photo printer for her birthday.) She uses Andrews old cell phone to take pictures all the time, so we knew the camera would be a hit. Well, today the weather was gorgeous, so we went for a bike ride on the (almost connected) bike path. Bear started her photography career with some actually, not so bad, pictures.

Watching the Baseball Game with Dad

2008-10-19T19:53:00.003-04:00

Ingenious!

2008-10-18T03:56:00.005-04:00

I knew the minute I started winding that first hank of yarn the other night that I was definitely going to need a swift. The back of a kitchen chair is useful in a number of ways, doll prison, for example, but as yarn swift, the back of my kitchen chairs failed miserably.

Of course, I knew the hubby wasn't going to approve that particular "yarn" purchase. My first response was to ~~buy it anyway~~ google "how to make your own yarn swift" and then attach the instructions to an email to my dad along with a message that read somewhere along the lines of Plllllleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaassssssssseeeeeeee build this for me. But then I found this tutorial. Saving my dad hours of time and me hours of negotiating that I really will clean my room this weekend if he would just make me a swift.

A trip to Target later I am up and running with my own Tinkertoy swift.

It works like a dream, and by changing the length of the arms (orange sticks in this picture) it is fully adjustable. Even I, the engineering school drop out, was able to put it together in mere minutes.

Secret Pal 12

2008-10-17T19:28:00.007-04:00

I received my SP12 package yesterday from my still unknown swap partner. (She forgot to reveal her secret super-hero identity but we're working on that!) She had emailed me a while back explaining why my package was going to be delayed - but let me tell you, it was well worth the wait!

The box was chock full of fun. 16 hanks of yarn - including 10 of that boucle you see there (Knitting Fever Noro in Katorea), 2 hanks of beautiful purple wool (Briggs Little Atlantic in Mulberry), and 4 balls of DGB Confetti sock yarn (2 in a brown mix and 2 in a gray mix). Plus candy, a toddler poncho pattern, a sock blocker key chain kit, two beautiful bright washcloths (seen only in the top picture when they were still in the box because Bear instantly scooped them up as blankets for her babies), a journal, note cards, Sour Patch Kids, Sour Cherries, a knitting magazine, a magnetic photo display kit, and wait, the most amazing part...

a ball winder!!!!! Oh, the excitement. I even wound a hank last night, JUST BECAUSE I COULD. Oh, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU secret pal!

Red Sox

2008-10-12T01:07:00.003-04:00

Seriously? It's 1:08am. Bottom of the 10th and still tied 8-8. Can the freakin' Red Sox just win it in 9 innings like everyone else? I feel like a crappy fan but I'm starting to fall asleep in my knitting. Sheesh.